never had penetrative sex...

First of all I'd just like to say that I really like your site. Secondly I wonder if you could offer some advice here. I'm a 32 year old male who has never had penetrative sex with either a man or a woman. I've often wondered why this is. Without wishing to sound vain I'm not physically unattractive and I'm a pleasant person to be with. Last year I had to leave work because of depression and go into counselling. It took me a while to begin to explore the deeper aspects of my psyche but eventually I managed to start talking about various traumatic events that had happened to me while I was younger. This included being abused by a variety of teachers at different schools and having the shit kicked out of me when I was 17. This led to severe depression, self harming and a non existence social life for about 11 years. I've always enjoyed masturbation and I've experimented with a vibrator on myself but I have this deep rooted fear about penetration. The odd thing is that I have managed to deal with other aspects of my sexuality more successfully.

Earlier this year I started seeing a very good professional dominatrix in London who specialises in adult baby and spanking fetishes. I've gained a lot of confidence since seeing her but in penetrative sex terms I would feel more comfortable making my first explorations with another guy. I'm currently weaning myself off anti-depressant at the moment and as these have an effect on my libido I'd like to be off them before I possibly plan a session with you. I'm not really sure what I'd want to do so maybe its something we could discuss. As I said i enjoy masturbation and using a dildo on myself so I think I'd enjoy being fucked. My mistress has suggested to me that I also explore submitting to another guy so maybe this is something we could talk about as well. I wouldn't probably feel emotionally ready for that in the first place as I really need to deal with my bodies emotional and physical need to have sex first of all but I like to keep an open mind.

Seb Cox Replies : Let me start by saying their is no rush, there is plenty of time. You must take things at your own pace. Saying that you have to gently move the agenda on. Take a chance, do things that scare you a little, as this will give you a great energy, it's a bit of a circle really. When I was an escort I had several clients who saw "getting fucked" as a therapy. If they are feeling a bit down they go and get well fucked and find this gives them an energy to cope with things.But then there's more to sex than simply fucking, or getting fucked. Remember you need to take contol. Have you thought about taking up a physical discipline, like kick boxing for example? If you are a bit shy you could try a few private lessons before you take part in an actual class. I wish you lots of love and penetration.

I got fucked for the first time five years ago by a wonderful masseur after years of wanting it only to have each attempt end in failure due to fear and being so uptight. I had taken the Body Electric course several months prior to my session with the escort and learned the breathing and relaxation techniques. That was a big help as I was able to use the breathing techniques to relax my nerves as well as the muscles in my ass. The escort worked on my butt for 30 minutes on his massage table before initiating the fucking. He gave me a wonderful prostate massage as well as heavy kneading on my glutes. Then he lubed me up real good. I did my breathing techniques and he slid his penis in me slowly. There was no pain. It felt wonderful!  After pumping for several minutes I asked him to stop thrusting for a bit because I just wanted to feel the wonderful sensation of that manly penis inside of me. It was a wonderful feeling. He started pumping again as he leaned over and sucked my cock while fucking me. I exploded with an orgasm unlike anything I had experienced before George

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