a lot of effort and a lot of bollox...

Your sexuality is an enigma. It has two energy sources, male and female. Therefore everyone's sexuality is bisexual. That's how you came here, like a star without a name. How you choose to use your enegy depends on your courage to be honest with yourself and to explore and enjoy your sexuality. Whether or not you express this through a physical sex act, everyone has the ability to receive male and female sexual energy. Satisfying yourself sexually is the key that opens the door to your heart's desire. While you may be attracted to sex with someone of the opposite gender, as what is opposite can be balancing. But, even a slight change in your sexual energy can lead to a different desire. If this pushes you towards a different experience that fulfills your particular needs at that time, that is OK. For example, maybe you are usually attracted to and more comfortable with members of the opposite sex who are around the same age as yourself. Occasionally, for whatever reasons, you may need to mate with someone who happens to be much older or younger than you are. Therefore, you will be attracted to such partners. Your not born with a defined sexuality. It comes to you, unconsciously during your childhood. Your pointed in a a certain direction, but it does not define it. It leaves you with choices which you may, or may not choose to acknowledge. Events from the past can be stored in the very prostate of your mind and may surface at any time. Some choose homosexual relationships as they find this leads to an internal balance, an inner calmness. There may have been an absence of male love during your childhood so as an adult you can balance that. Or there could have been same-sex relationships that were hurtful and damaged you. Now as an adult you can heal and balance this. I have often felt when I hear someone being homophobic that what they really need is some sexual healing, some balancing. They have difficulty even hugging someone of the same sex. As that brings up fears that they are being sexual with a member of the same sex.

If they are honest and accept this tiny part of there sexuality they will learn compassion, something they desperately need to balance not only their own sexuality but to balance their soul. From early childhood we are taught about sexual stereotypes and how we should fit in.  Boys play with guns, girls play with dolls. Boys must be strong and focused while girls must be nurturing and creative. Ok this is beginning to change but there is a long way to go. If you teach a boy that he has to be strong and not to be gentle as an adult he will have some balancing to do. If you can place your hand on your heart and state that you are 100% heterosexual or homosexual, fine. But remember you are capable of bisexuality and you could be more balanced, more happy, more fulfilled, if that option were truly open to you. I am not necessarily talking about sexual intercourse, but your ability to express  physically affection. If your not so fucking rigid about your masculinity, about your sexuality,  you will have a greater freedom to express yourself. A greater freedom to love, in what ever form you choose to express that love. We have no culturally approved scripts for life; we pretty much need to write our own. To write your own script requires a lot of effort and a lot of bollox, and is the kind of hard work that brings just rewards, eventually. You might find the right way for you, and three years latter decide you want to live a different way. You write the script, you get to make the choices, and you get to change your fucking mind. "People who try to belittle others because of their sexuality are really just belittling themselves..." Seb Cox

 Hello Seb, I am 18 years old and I am what you might call, bi curious... I have only admitted that I was questioning my own sexuality to one person, and it was someone I didn't know. This is the second time I am admitting it. A question I really want to ask you guys is this... How do I know if I'm gay...Here are my symptoms: 1) I enjoy anal stimulation from my girlfriend and from myself. 2) I jerk off to gay porn, but only bondage or kinky stuff. 3) I have fantasized about being pleased by other males that I know in real life, or males that I dont know..I think my family and friends might know i'm gay, but I can't admit it and the fact that they MIGHT know makes me lose my breath...I find it humiliating...I need someone to talk to about this, hopefully someone who has been in the same situation or something close to it please email me,Thank you for running this site !

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