an interest in other lads

Hi Seb - I reckon i am not a bad looking lad. Spitting image of footballer XXXXXXX so people say. Work for local council and live with my gf and 2 kids. She has always refused to give me bj because I am averse to eating pussy. Nothing I do or say will get her to suck dick. 60 year old woman lives next door who babysits, she has a black boyfriend, Frank. I thought he was in his 40s as he looks younger than her so am now surprised to discover he is nearly 60. A massive guy he stays there 4 or 5 nights a week. Last August I helped him tidy up Joan's back garden. Gf and kids were at her mum's. She made us bacon sarnies and while we ate she teased me about not wanting to go down on my gf. I was dead embarrassed as I hadn't known that Kate discussed things like that with Joan. One thing led to another and 3 of us ended up in her bedroom. She persuaded me to lick her out before Frank fucked her. It was fuckin awful. She sucked me off as Frank banged between her thighs. When she went for a bath I was shocked when Frank grabbed me and started eating my arse! I actually came. He then demanded I rim him. I didn't fancy that but now admit I was turned on by his bulk. He is very black, 6 foot plus and about 16 stone. His thighs and arse are huge, and not fat just solid meat. His balls had a strong smell but I found I enjoyed eating his arsehole. This has really shaken me. Always had an interest in other lads cocks. A few weeks later I let him fuck me but as he pistoned me it fuckin hurt and I felt really horrible but I want more of him. I let him fuck my face and arse and feel awful but can't say no. Am I showing my true colours or just being a daft twat? tt

tt, I think you are a star. At 20 it's time to explore sex, try everything but if you don't like it dont do it. If any thing hurts or is uncomfortable it's not being done correctly. When your having sex is time to be selfish, if your not getting what you want, you won't be satisfied. Try being a little more dominant, in a sexy way. Always remember the first thing I said to you, a big hug, seb cox

I realised something about myself. I admitted something to myself. I prefer men.  It's not that I don't like women, but I am attracted by men first, women second. Fact.  Period. It's not like "Oh gosh, I never knew", more about recognising and owning myself, my behaviour, my interests. It's about desire and possibility and heartbreak, about hope and fear, about self-esteem and self-acceptance. I don't feel gay, don't identify with "gay", don't want to be associated with "gay", yet if I prefer my own sex for sex, what choices do I have? Love the site - long may you prosper brian

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